I\’m hoping this version reads better than \”No More Fat Uglies\” — I rushed the earlier version out to beat today\’s electoral college vote.
December 18, 2016
The Emperor promises US a wild ride; and, seemingly, unlimited fodder to critique him…through whatever MEDIUM. But it\’s hard to say how long he\’ll tolerate it…
Since the Emperor cannot stand having ugly women around him (and it\’s quite difficult to be considered \’fat and pretty\’…unless you are Amy Schumer) — Washington should get a nice \”dressing up\” during his tenure.
No more Janet Renos or Janet Yellens (what\’s with that name, \’Janet\’?). Even Ruth Ginsberg (who I doubt was ever fat) probably won\’t last very long (I\’m kinda hoping she is replaced by Anita Hill). And what about Madeline Albright types?
I\’ve always thought Nancy Pelosi was rather cute — but I\’m wondering if she will fit the Emperor\’s tape? Nancy is probably way-too-old to hold the Emperor\’s eye. If Carly Fiorina didn\’t make the Emperor\’s initial cut, I doubt Nancy could. Carly did get a new hairstyle, so perhaps she might pass a re-test.
I\’m not sure if I find Kellyanne Conway attractive, but the Emperor must. She certainly stands out-in-a-crowd, as does Ann Coulter: that skirt she wore on her last appearance on The Bill Maher Show revealed a pair of legs that don\’t seem to quit. One wonders why Ann hasn\’t been named to a post yet — as she predicted a Trump victory for-quite-a-long-time.
My new favorite however, is that perky little podcaster, Tomi Lahren. She is the cutest racist I have ever seen (of course I haven\’t seen photos of all the Nazi propagandists). Ahhh…to be 24-or-25 and understand the meta-narratives that govern US. Absolutely amazing! Love it or leave it Baby!! (Now when [and where?] have I heard this phrase before?) I\’m surprised that Tomi hasn\’t been given a Washington desk job yet? Perhaps it is still to come.
Trump\’s education secretary, Betsy DeVos (of Amway), has seen better days — but she seems to be aging well — what with the fruits of one the nation\’s first, widely successful, Ponzi schemes!
I am getting a bit worried that the Trump women are growing on me, however! They bring hooters for Washingon!
The-3-of-them: Melania, Ivanka and Tiffany are definitely easy-on-the-eyes! US got new royalty! Make way Kardashians: there\’s a new harem in town!
And it just struck me…like a bolt from the blue! That\’s what US been missing! We have no royal family or royal court to distract US from the bullshit of our lives. Christ, the Brits have been fawning and foaming over their royalty for years — while being gently fleeced into pub life. Guinness is the Brits\’ opium! And even though we purportedly kicked the British monarchy out some 250-odd-years-ago — I think a sizable portion of our populace wants them back!
So let\’s make the orgy that D.C. has always been into something much more colorful than it has been: courtesan hooters\’ reality show: ladies-in-waiting and pages of multiple genders — to satisfy the appetites of the new plutocracy invading Washington.
So, farewell fat uglies, or fatties, or just uglies — no longer will you get to wander or work in the halls of the Emperor — you\’ll probably be assigned to distant outposts! But there\’s always the Fiorina re-make. Do that and you might reload at a Hooters and work your way into the Emperor\’s court.
Next Installment: No More Taxes! Unless the Emperor loses the electoral vote…