January 14, 2019
I didn\’t realize that the destructive Camp Fire (which burned the town of Paradise to the ground) began, and spread, through federally owned forest in California. So I guess it\’s not the State that is shirking its duties in controlling the undergrowth — but it was the Feds who neglected to get out here and rake the damn place.
And the Woolsey Fire — considered the most destructive event of 2018 — didn\’t even get its start in a forest (though it eventually made its way into the forested Santa Monica Mtns.).
Yet our president suggests that it is Our shoddy brush clearance that is at the root of these destructive fires and that he will subsequently be cutting off Our funding for fire fighting.
I said many months ago that Pumpkinhead hates California because we cost him the popular vote. I\’m finally hearing other people say this in The Letters forum of my beloved Times.
Elsewhere I have solved the problem of His threats to withdraw our federal funding by suggesting that we simply withhold paying Our Federal Tax. At $405-billion-a-year — we could buy ourselves allotta fire protection! (The $405 billion figure is based on the 2015 reckoning of our Federal Tax.)
With a current State Budget of $209 Billion — it appears that We pay a whopping 66% of Our State Revenue to the Feds (all of which we are supposed to get back!)!
I believe that the 21 Mission Model (you know the one the Catholic Church used to build the 21 missions here — each a day\’s ride from the other?) is the solution to Our destructive wild fire problem. I propose an emergency fire-fighting system peopled by crack fire-fighting teams spread over 10 airfields throughout the State. Using the technology of the day — every Californian can have a fire detection app on her/his phone. The moment a fire is spotted by someone — the nearest dedicated Fire Force (that sounds pretty cool, doesn\’t it?) airfield can be notified.
In minutes of notification — jets and helicopters can attack the fire that is still in its early stages — to be followed up by tankers carrying retardant and water so that fires never burn out of control.
I know what You are going to ask: You mean we will pay these elite fire fighters top dollar to sit around and potentially fight only one fire a year? Well, yeah — we seem to be doing that with our fire fighters right now (and they still get paid to quibble about which agency should be doing the fighting and which agency gets to sit back and watch). I\’ll never forget the three fire trucks casually coming down my street from Malibu and the Wolsey fire — so casual (and seemingly carefree) that I thought the Wolsey fire had been put out…which it hadn\’t.
There\’ll be no such quibbling when the Elite Squad is in charge! These FBI of the Skies will supersede any and all local and State agencies.
And whatever billions are spent on the elite teams will pale beside the payouts following catastrophic fires like the Woolsey! Look at what the most recent fires did to PG & E?
So I know ol\’ Pumpkinhead is saying \”Burn Baby Burn\” — like he did his draft card(s) — but my money is on California figuring out a way to wall off Its citizenry from destructive Fire!
Next Installment: A Maze of Contradictions