May 13, 2012
Well, it’s another Mother’s Day, and, if ever there was a holiday that actually made sense (other than Thanksgiving [my personal favorite holiday]) – it’s Mother’s Day! Honoring the institution of “mothering” is of unparalleled importance…sadly, maintaining the institution becomes more imperiled by the day.
Let’s face it folks – very few mothers are involved with their children to the extent that a child needs a mother; and, even fewer fathers – but that’s a story for another day. Theez daze most “parents” look to the State to rear their children. And the State, is symbolized by “The School.”
I tell everyone of my wannabe teachers to make sure that they’ve retained a good lawyer in case some half-wit parent wants to blame all-of-their-child’s problems on the teacher, who, as-all-of-my-students know: is expected to be father; mother; nurse; doctor; psychologist; friend; judge; specialist; teacher, and shit, god, for 30+ pupils (or many, many more) – all-the-while having her/his budget steadily eroded (not to mention a complete absence of back-up and support while in the trenches).
Yes, yes – I know that there are plenty of crazy, sick teachers out there (particularly substitute teachers [I can’t get the ‘Hook’ reference to substitute teachers out of my head]), but there are sick fucks in every profession. Blaming the entire teaching profession for a small minority is like, well, it’s like blaming schools for society’s ills.
I just had brunch with a colleague whom I hold in very high regard: he can deconstruct latent racism or any “ism” in anyone’s dialog. But for some reason, he felt that “Waiting for Superman” had something to say about something. I told him that I felt it said little about anything — perpetuating the atomistic fallacy by generalizing from a very small sample. I told him the same thing I tell all my students: it is the disintegration of the American Family that has contributed to our social malaise.
Someday, someone with-half-a-brain (or more) is going to say – that Doc Scheff was right all along. We needed to do something about “shoring up” families – we needed to put emphasis into family preservation: then our families would not have put stock into “Family Guy” or “King of the Hill.” Instead, and I know it sounds schmaltzy – we would have put time, energy and money into perpetuating the Cosby model.
Say what you will – children need two responsible adults riding them until the neural connections between the two hemispheres are completed. And, if they don’t get that double –dose of parental supervision, they will fill the void with something else: whether it’s gangs; drugs; video games; tattoos; their multi-purpose cell phones; or, cable – they will occupy themselves with shit that neither expands their awareness nor carries them productively through time.
I have to blame Hollyweird for its role in the destruction of the American Family. Film makers proceed from a naïve belief that at the heart of every family constellation there is something that binds a family together: so on the silver screen, people can behave outrageously, and, engage in all sorts of anti-bonding (anti Family) behavior – but the family will still survive through some unseen inner strength.
Sadly, this isn’t the case. Most families are destroyed through the irresponsible behavior of one-or-more members: behaviors that neither productively nor constructively move a family through time.
I call upon my students to begin redefining what Family is these days – because it isn’t what we once believed it to be (if it ever was).
I was once concerned that “The Simpsons” would spell the end of family as-we-knew-it. I now laud “The Simpsons” as one of the last torch bearers for Family.