April 1, 2013
I should have known that uncovering the gates of Hell (which apparently has recently occurred somewhere in Turkey) – would lead to some type of contagion afflicting the populous – and this Cold from Hell is still with me on Day 14 (which is when everyone who has had it suggests that it finally breaks!). My Day 14 saw me waking with chest congestion and a headache – which I’m betting originated from either impacted sinuses; or infected sinuses; or, both.
“Take something for It” people say – and everybody does – including antibiotics: but nothing seems to work with this Spell from Hell! It’s neither cold nor flu – but more like a combination of both – and the more you try to fight it – the harder it fights back. Usually, all I have to do is up my Vitamin C intake to 3000 units and take the appropriate remedy (cold or flu) and I am already feeling better by day’s end. With this thing – you take something for chest congestion and your nose starts running like a faucet! If you take something to curb a headache – all-of-a-sudden you start feeling feverish!! For every punch you try to deal this thing – it counter punches with something else. Suffice to say, I believe I have produced 3 times my body weight in snot and mucus: I didn’t know this old body could produce that much of anything anymore…
Day 1 was a bit obfuscated for me as I started my trial on alkali water (which seemed to heal my gout symptoms in 4 days) – but that night I was swallowing so much mucus I couldn’t sleep (I wondered if my body was purging itself of acid-based toxins?).
On Day 2 – I had no appetite because I had consumed so much mucus. I felt too weak to go to a department meeting and figured I had come down with something. And when my grand-daughter (by proxy) came over – I avoided her like I had the plague (but she caught it from me anyhow – and I had guilt thrown into this uncomfortable and painful mix). Thankfully, or perhaps not – because I started feeling feverish almost immediately – Giti put me on Z-Pacs. I had another fitful night of sleep.
On Day 3 we had to go to a Bat Mitzvah and I made no contact with anyone – though my nose was running like a faucet, again, and standing was difficult. It was there that I learned that this Hell’s Spell was going to take two weeks to get rid of – and that everyone eventually had to get on antibiotics (I actually thought I had a leg up on this thang – because I was already 2 days into antibiotics!). Later I had to take Giti to the airport — which put another hour-and-a-half into consciousness and delayed that coveted inertness. Finally, I went home and died…thank god the NCAA champs were on to help alleviate the discomfort (I was mildly comforted having predicted the outcome of one entire bracket correctly.). Then, I had another night of fitful, broken, coughing-related nonsense.
Day 4 saw me headed for the Hotel Bel Air (for the first time in my life) to meet an old acquaintance for lunch — who is re-emerging as a friend. While he advocated Chardonnay therapy – I went slowly — nursing Mimosas for their Vitamin C, and, attempting not to get too excited about the “old times.” I survived (seeing an aging Warren Beatty gave me fortitude) – but I am pretty sure that I let plenty of germs loose as I coughed and wheezed my way through that luverly (but painful) brunch.
On Day 5 I had to teach a 1:00pm class and then attend Austen’s high school soccer banquet. My 1:00pm class is probably my most caring and nurturing of my 3 classes – so they allowed me to isolate myself and deliriously ramble (they knew they weren’t going to see me for 3 weeks – what with Cesar Chavez Day and Spring Break getting in the way). And then, per Giti’s insistence – I went to La Fuentes to get some magic chicken soup before the soccer banquet. While the Jewish penicillin helped me felt better – I ended up wanting to sneeze for about 4 hours with the nose running like a faucet yet again! I sat with drenched kleenex stemming the outgoing tide during the entire banquet and chased away anyone who tried to get close. En route, I had such a coughing and choking fit, I thought would die in a seizure after losing control of the wheel. I chugged all-the-NyQuil and Day Quil that I had purchased prior to the banquet and still spent a night gagging and wheezing…and the wheezing felt like one had bullet holes in one’s lungs – draining the life…