December 30, 2017
I had hoped that my Christmas present this year would come in the form of impeachment proceedings initiated by Robert Mueller against You-Know-Who(m). Instead, we could now potentially see Robert being fired by ol\’ Pumpkinhead.
But Hurray for Disney! With their purchase of FOX they have come riding in like The Prince on his white stallion — to hopefully rescue the would-be princess (the brain-washed 1/3 of the electorate) from the clutches of the evil ogre (FOX).
So there could still be a happy ending to this national (and international) drama — as Disney movies always have a happy ending and the villains get what they deserve! Since we know that Hannity, along with the FOX 5 and a cast of bigoted others will get their just due, let\’s look beyond FOX programming and imagine how the villains of the White House might get their just deserts in the New Year: Disney-style!
1) Ol\’ Pumpkinhead and Scar (from The Lion King):
As we know, Scar wrested the throne from Mufasa through treachery and deceit and let the kingdom lapse into ruin. He eventually took a fall; and, because he dissed his last supporters (the hyenas) he was \’shredded\’ by them. One should beware of the company one keeps; or, if you live by the sword…ah well…
2) Steve Bannon and Gaston (from Beauty and the Beast):
Talk about the \”company\” one keeps — no one likes to be around these two egotistical blowhards — except for the silly girls (in Gaston\’s case). I wonder if Bannon has any admirers and whether they know that Bannon didn\’t pay child support and reportedly threatened his ex-wife on more than one occasion. Gaston takes a fatal fall after battling the beast for Belle. Bannon is way overdue for his.
3) Kellyanne Conway and Maleficent (from Sleeping Beauty):
Maleficent has been described as pure evil and in league with the devil himself. Kellyanne\’s \”alternate facts\” certainly opened the gates of Hell for all illogical rhetoric! Thankfully Maleficent doesn\’t calculate her strengths or weaknesses and eventually gets run through by Prince Phillip falling to her death (with a good deal of assistance from the 3 fairies).
4) Rex Tillerson and Captain Hook (from Peter Pan):
As former CEO of Exxon/Mobile — this oil pirate, this Putin awardee had already lost an honest hand to the oiligarchy cookie jar around the globe — before becoming Secretary of State. There\’s a Peter Pan out there (perhaps ol\’ Pumkinhead himself) who will revenge him/herself on this pirate — while the clock ticks and the crocs wait.
5) Sarah Sanders and Ursula (from Little Mermaid):
As Trump\’s spokesperson — Sarah has her tentacles everywhere and there seems to be no way of pinning her down as she makes the president\’s trail as murky as possible with her escape ink. At some point, however, she will have a Spicer-styled snap and get run over by something…like Ursula was by a large ship.
6) Steve Mnuchin and Jafar (from Aladdin):
Clever money men almost seem to be genies — creating wealth as if by magic. But as an old landlord once told me: it takes money to make money. And if the money is made out of thin air — it will create a vacuum sufficient to suck everything back in to the lamp.
7) Jeff Sessions and Ratcliffe (from Pocahontas)
Ratcliffe ends up going back to England to be tried for treason: the least fatal of fates for a Disney villain. And this is perhaps fitting — as Jeff has pissed off ol\’ Pumpkinhead by recusing himself from THE investigation (to avoid committing treason?). Still, he commits treason daily (as all of-these-villains do).
8) Nikki Haley and Cruella de Vil (from 101 Dalmations):
This clueless former governor is as bombastically single-minded in supporting the Trump initiatives on the international stage as Cruella was in attempting to secure 101 puppy pelts. Cruella eventually has a breakdown; car crash; and, goes to jail. Will Nikki\’s conflicting sympathies for women\’s rights and consternation over parking tickets create spots before her eyes?
9) Stephen Miller and Hades (from Hercules):
I have gone on record elsewhere comparing this man to Hitler\’s henchman, Joseph Goebbels. Sooner or later, someone stronger and more influential puts the hurt on such assholes. Hercules beat Hades up and threw him into the River Styx — where we assume he forgot who he was or what he was doing.
10)Scott Pruitt and Clayton (from Tarzan):
Our EPA man is about as well-suited to protecting our environment as Monsanto. Clayton gets strangled by a vine — perhaps Pruitt will be visiting the super volcano when it blows.
11)The Trump Boys/Jared Kushner and Percival McLeach (from The Rescuers Down Under):
The scumbag poacher McLeach gets swept over a waterfall after too many years of living cruelly towards man and nature. Though he learned how to evade crocodiles, he was not a very good multi-tasker very and subsequently couldn\’t navigate all-of-the-water-hazards.