October 14, 2016
I don\’t care too much for money, money can\’t buy me love…but I\’d still like to give it a try…
The wife and I were multi-billionaires from Thursday, October 6th — till October 11th (with a Saturday spent compiling our case and a Columbus Day in between) making this our greatest fantasy long weekend ever! Let me tell you the story…
Giti\’s father passed on July 4th (at age 94) and Giti finally got around to closing his Chase bank account last week. Her initial bank associate, John, reported seeing three \”$\” symbols pop up on Hassan\’s (her father) account — which John suggested only occurs on accounts with more than $500,000.00 in them. John asked if her father might have been stashing money elsewhere, to which she replied that she doubted that very much as she controlled Hassan\’s banking (and he couldn\’t speak a word of English anyway).
The next thing that happened was that Giti received a warning letter from Chase that said the account was overdrawn by $11.73 and that $99,999,999,999.00 from an account balance of $100,000,000,000.00 had been placed \”on hold.\”
At first we thought it was some kind of computer glitch, but then we remembered the recent Wells Fargo fiasco. And, since, we have just finished the second season of \”Narcos\” — we wondered if someone was hiding money in her father\’s account — an account which essentially presented the same profile for the-past-13-or-so-years. Since there was no record of such a huge deposit being made in the account statements…we began to relish our billionaire status!
The weekend was spent in great frivolity; with friends who only wanted a few million (after all, what\’s a few million when you are talking billions?!). I don\’t know about Giti — but I was dreaming of owning large homes on the best surfing beaches of the world and getting chauffeured around in a Rolls — while maintaining a Dudley Moore-styled (ala \’Arthur\’) buzz all-day-long (after my morning surf of course). I\’m sure Giti was dreaming of cleaning out a few jewelry stores…
So we chose Tuesday to go to our local Chase Bank to find out how we might extract our one hundred billion dollars and find out where the $287,000.00 of daily interest was going to.
John was unavailable that day, but a Brit named James took us into his office and after a few moments of pondering the account and our paper work, he informed us that we wouldn\’t be collecting $100,000,000,000.00 because this was the normal procedure of freezing the account of a deceased person who was overdrawn.
I gathered that if an account belonged to a deceased individual, banks brace themselves for a family squabble. But with only $12.00-or-so in-the-account, I\’m wondering what the squabble would be over; and, the need to utilize figures like one hundred billion and $99,999,999,999.00?!
Though James had that great English accent (which seems to make the Brits so believable), I couldn\’t shake the feeling (and still can\’t) that Chase was hiding somebody\’s money in the account of my father-in-law.
James did put $12.00 back into the account so that it wasn\’t overdrawn.