August 6, 2012
Would I like to become a member of Arnold’s proposed think tank? Of course I would! Think tanks are almost as fun (if not more fun) as indulging in the playground that is Hollyweird.
I’m hoping that the topics of Arnold’s think tank would be comprised of ogling large breasts; having hot sex with Latinas; cigar smoking (hence the title); drinking vodka; increasing penis size; and, staying in good physical shape (most probably in this order as I just caught some bathing suit photos of Maria Shriver, and, she seems to be in much better shape than Arnie).
Honestly, what important issues would Arnold’s people want to tackle? Abrogated prison sentences?? Illegal immigration???
Don’t get me wrong – I admire Arnold, and I thought he was a great ambassador for California – before the-shit-hit-the-fan (on the maid and the nepotistic pardon and his egotistical arrogance that he could hide the one and kick-the-other-down-the-road). Or, is this why Arnie needs a think tank? So he can have other, more intelligent, people doing his thinking for him so he cuts back on tequila-induced mistakes (or are they residual steroid mistakes?).
I’m sure I’ve said it before – but I’ll say it again: There is a certain type of male (like Arnie and Bill Clinton) – whose dicks will always get them into trouble. And the next time 9-or-so-women say that a guy gave them a surprise grope – I won’t cut the fellow any slack; particularly after L.A. County Probation tried to take me down on such a fabricated instance (but that’s what can happen to a guy who knows too much).
I’m sure Arnie’s think tank will tackle the mess that is American public education! I’m sure that they will conclude that the disintegration of the American family has played the primary role (accounting for almost all the variance [that’s sociologese for those not-in-the-know]) in the devastated landscape that is currently the American public school setting – in addition to the unnecessary social and financial burden put-on-all-of-us through the nonsense that is special education. I’m sure this think tank will realize that special education diagnoses are pulled out of the White Male Middle Class perspective that: there is only one way to educate and test American public school children (those with organic impairments excepted). Solution? Breeding licenses and school from 7:30am – 5:30pm.
And I’m sure that Arnold’s think tank will also look at the true purpose of 9/11 and how it was meant to give US direct access to all-of-Iraq’s-oil for the indignities Iraq has heaped upon us for all these years (can you taste the sarcasm?). I didn’t know until recently that an American intelligence worker, Susan Lindauer, was put-out-of-commission because she made manifest the US desire to go straight into Iraq following 9/11 (which I had suggested long before reading this woman’s story). In fact, she reports that US intelligence was already “planting” the idea of terrorist attacks utilizing passenger planes into Saddam’s head: we basically told him that if he heard anything about such plans that he was to report it to US. Talk about Black OPs! I’m also convinced that Arnie’s think tank will tell US why no photos of the passenger jet striking the Pentagon (the nerve center of our military, right?) were ever published (with the exception of a single, grainy photo five years after 9/11 [that looks more like a missile]). It seems that 7-11 has better surveillance cameras than the Pentagon. End game? An inside job.
And without a doubt, Arnie’s stink tank will tackle our teetering economy. They will have to conclude that following the sub-prime loan fiasco – no economic engine has surfaced to power the American economy. Thank god we can blame our woes on those lazy Europeans, and not, on living life on credit. Hopefully the Federal Reserve counted enough gold for us to continue making money out-of-thin-air, otherwise – we’re fucked, and, will need to tax-the-Hell-out-of- the-American-middle-class. Solution? Teach US how to live within our means.
Nah, Arnie – you guys don’t need to invite me to the stink tank at all – because I’m sure that the deep thinkers you assemble will arrive at the very same conclusions I have outlined here…besides, I gave up smoking cigars years ago…