December 21, 2012
When I heard the first reports regarding the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School – I picked up on-a-couple-of-triggers that immediately resonated with this family therapist; they were: There had been a divorce in the family; and, the father of the shooter remarried in 2009. I immediately deduced some-of-the-reason why this sick, little shit, Adam Lanza, went and shot 20 elementary school children. I also feel for the school personnel…but the 20 defenseless little children?! Their deaths speak volumes to this family therapist.
I have had to listen to a-lot-of-shit over-the-past-week as the nation comes to grip with yet another violent massacre. We’ve heard about semi-automatic weapons that can handle clips of 30 bullets; we’ve heard about autism, Asperger’s and attendant medications; we’ve heard about home schooling; we’ve heard about weapons in the home; and, we’ve heard about violent video games — but no one seems to want to deal with issues and dynamics pursuant to divorce and remarriage.
Elsewhere I have written about stepmothers inheriting Wicked as their first names and, reportedly, Adam didn’t want to see his father any more after his father was remarried. This should have been a red flag for the members of this family – as any family therapist worth his/her salt will tell you that it does take a village to raise a child, or, at-the-very-least: two responsible adults. It doesn’t sound like Adam had a responsible adult overseeing him since his father’s remarriage.
Adam took out his mother, Nancy, first. If I have my information correct, Mom was living in a 4000-some square foot home and collecting close to $24,000-a-month form her ex in addition to her ex taking care of cars, medical bills and college fees! I guess money doesn’t buy security or happiness. Nancy had also apparently given Adam some pretty thorough gun training in addition to home schooling. Basically, it sounded like she coddled him all his life…so why was she the first to go? Did he carry residual anger for her divorcing his father? What do we know about her boyfriends and whom she may have brought home?
Even more interesting to this family therapist is that Adam somehow acquired his older brother’s identification. Adam’s older brother apparently worked for General Electric (where their father also worked). Why don’t writers in my beloved Times, or talking heads on the tube, have enough education to look at Adler’s theory of sibling order and the sibling rivalries or jealousies that can form? Or, these amateur investigators might also check out Bowlby’s Attachment Theory – and begin to learn the psychic and spiritual damage divorce does to the child victims of it?!
It’s time to quit assigning blame for the motivations of mass killings — whether they occur in movie theaters or universities or shopping malls or elementary schools — onto semi-automatic weapons, violent video games and mental illness and begin to-seriously-look at the quality of supervision our nation’s children grow up under. And frankly, the supervision of our nation’s youth gets a huge “F.” I’m willing to bet (but not the house) that every one of our mass murderers grew up in households without responsible parenting – which brings me back to an earlier Op-Ed where I recommend breeding licenses for bringing children into this world!
But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that on the same day of the Newtown massacre – some crazed Chinaman stabbed 22 elementary school children in China – but none-of-them died…because this crazy was restricted to using a knife: The Chinese populous does not have access to the guns that we do in the good ol’ U.S. of A. If young Adam had had to use a knife or his bare hands to exact his rage – I wonder how large the death toll would have been. Guns make killing too easy and allow punks like Adam to wreak the carnage that he did. And lately, it’s been difficult to arrest someone to give them the death penalty – as they have been taking their own lives – except for Loughner, who managed to get life in prison – on the tax payer’s dime. Is anyone researching his formative years?
At least 20 angels have begun a premature journey…death was too good for you, Adam Lanza – I can only hope that your Hell extends an eternity…