I apologize to those who read me with some regularity (I would love to have said ‘all of those’ – but really, not that many folks read me – particularly when my stuff gets “dry” during the pressure of the college semester: when I am grading papers; meeting with discombobulated students; and, doing all those !@#$%^&*! recommendations for wannabe teachers and psychotherapists). So hang-with-me for-a-couple-of-more-weeks – I should get some of my feistiness and creativity back as the grading comes to an end.
For awhile now, I’ve been meditating on my 3rd Grade year and have decided to go back to Alameda Elementary in Farmington Hills, Michigan and attempt to re-create 1965-66 – because I remain perplexed at my inability to recall ANYTHING from this particular year. I have specific memories from EACH-AND-EVERY year of my life – with the exception of my 3rd grade year. And, as my wannabe elementary school teachers go over their experiences in the elementary schools, I constantly reminisce about the years that I CAN remember.
When I asked my mother and sister who the 3rd Grade teacher at Alameda was, neither of them could remember – in fact, my sister (who is 2 years my junior) — could not remember her 3rd Grade teacher at Alameda Elementary either (which begs the question of whether Alameda Elementary had a 3rd Grade year at all). I remember my 2nd Grade year and how Ms. (Mrs.?) Sherpitis dragged me across the classroom by my ear: I still remember the burning sensation that lasted well into the next day. I guess I just didn’t listen to Miz Sherpitis – because when I told my mother what Miz S. had done – she was non-plussed (of course, this reaction is typically German).
So I remember Mrs. Bell (1st Grade); Ms. (Mrs.?) Sherpitis (2nd Grade); Ms. Fitch (4th Grade); Mrs. Shalla (5th Grade); and, Ms. Thompson (6th Grade)…I recall SRA readings in the 1st Grade; my “ear” incident in the 2nd Grade; Ms. Fitch making me stand in the corner for 4 hours and having me write 500 times that I wouldn’t lean back in my seat again (probably to get a look at Lynn Lower’s or Sue Green’s sleeveless blouse [that showed their bras]); Ms. Shalla’s beehive hairdo; and, acting and singing “Bert” (‘Burt’?) alongside Sue Green’s Mary Poppins.
It feels like I was in a coma for an entire year…or, was I institutionalized? Or, was I abducted by aliens. Or, did I go catatonic after being forced to spend a weekend with very bizarre friends of my father’s? I just don’t know. I DO know that I was hit-by-a-car at-the-age-of-four – and this might have caused my hyperactivity or possible seizures. I do remember that ethereal being in my bedroom (that I have often thought was a guardian angel) – but very well may have been that alien abductor. Of course, you’d think that my parents might have told me that I was missing for some time (unless they were paid a hefty sum by the alien researchers?) – which leads me to wondering if I was institutionalized (and medicated) for awhile: I do remember getting triple checks in self control in my Alameda school daze. Staying with the Slavs (the Mercobrads) was an absolute nightmare for me – with the horrific odors and the sense of being crushed by a huge weight imprinted upon me.
I could probably find all the answers I need on the Internet – but I prefer to do some old fashioned sleuthing – which will begin with looking over those class pictures from Alameda Elementary. If I can find a 3rd Grade picture with me in it – I will have to see if I can get some grade records for that year – if so, perhaps I can re-capture something from that year – if not, I guess that one-missing-year out-of-54 ain’t that bad…
NEXT INSTALLMENT: The Death of Osama