Obama Lives, or, Watch Out Israel

Anybody who suggests that s/he knows something about something – knows that Monica Lewinsky did not just catch Bill Clinton’s eye and that he just had-to-have her in the Oval Office (recollections of MARILLION’S ‘Warm Wet Circles’) – but rather, Monica Lewinsky was a MOSSAD agent (that’s Israeli Secret Service for those of you not in the know) who was literally propelled into Bill’s Oval Office by the Washington-based Israeli Junta.

Where does he get this shit – most people ask (like my Mother, for instance, who didn’t know that Dickhead Cheney had a secret bunker where he spends much of his time [much like Hitler in his waning days])? – well, he got this little tidbit from the legendary Sherman Skolnick.  Yeah, yeah – Sherman Skolnick is the Father of the Conspiracy Theory – so any Limbaugh adherents may as well drop out here – but Sherman did seem to know a lot-about-alot (unlike Rush – who knows a lot about a little).

For instance, Sherman suggested that Monica L.’s biological father is/was a MOSSAD agent, and that the surname we are familiar with – comes from her Beverly Hills stepfather.  So I for one, believe that Monica was groomed from a very nubile age to perform as a Mata Hari.  What’s the bet that with Hitlery gaining the Secretary of State gig – that Monica (and a few other Israeli agents [does Linda Tripp ring a bell?]) – get out of Dodge in a right, big hurry?  Because if ever there was a Lady Macbeth – Hitlery is our gal.

So Obama lives!  And he is now the 44th president of the United States.  Congratulations, Homie!  I still don’t know how the hell you did it?!  How on earth did you get Papa and Baby Bush, as well as McCain and the Clintons — to look like they’d been hit by Mack trucks (well maybe not Johnny M. [cuz Johnny M got hit by that truck long ago!)?  But the others, whew, the others each seemed frustrated beyond belief on Inauguration Day.  Hitlery seems happier now that she will have a chance to jam Israel – after they cost her the presidency with Monica L. (hence the ‘watch out’ Israel).  And what about that snafu with you and the supreme court justice…Barack Hussein Obama (Damn!  If I were an Israeli – that name would give me the heebeejeebies!)?  Why were you two mincing words?

We have an old saying in the world of psychotherapy – and that is: “Just when you think you’ve got it figured out…it changes.”  I won’t even deign to suggest that I have stuff figured out anymore (Hell! Any parent of a teenager will tell you that!!)  So, I’m running with the pack – hoping that the Obama brain trust really has a solution to this indescribable Bushian mess!  How could we let a single family push us into not one, but TWO depressions?!  Well, those who refuse to learn from history…

And so, Barack – all-the-best to you and co.  I sure as hell hope for-your-sake, that you haven’t surrounded yourself with serpents.  But sometimes, keeping your enemies close is a prudent choice.  Just don’t light up any cigars in the Oval O.