12.3.17
I recently paid out $1000 for parking in a handicap spot on campus…with a placard not belonging to me…Before saying that it serves me right (and it does), I\’d like to share the story behind my misguided behavior.
For some strange reason it\’s been very difficult to find a vacant, faculty parking spot this semester. The campus police have informed me that students often utilize faculty parking…apparently they can afford the tickets. Go figure…
On Fridays, I teach an 8:00am section that is on the other side of campus from my 11:00am section. There is no way I can \”hoof it\” and carry papers from 2 different classes and be-on- time for the second class: While I\’m in relatively good shape — a 10-minute walk in 90 to 100 degree temperatures can be quite enervating (particularly after teaching a 3-hour class) — so I drive from one class to the other.
There has to be a 100-or-more faculty parking spots close to my 11:00am classroom and they are all filled by the time I get there at 10:50am!
So, I took to using my father-in-law\’s handicap placard to park in handicap parking (where there always seem to be an abundance of spots). The caveat here is that my father-in-law died a-year-and-a-half ago — at the age of 95.
His death hadn\’t yet made it into the DMV system — so they sent us a placard awhile back that was good till 2019 (or so I had hoped).
Because I am not accustomed to running afoul of the law; and/or getting tickets — I should have known that the LAPD copper had-the-goods-on-me when I saw the tickets on my windshield. (What was even more daunting was that he had blocked me in [to ostensibly impound my illegally parked vehicle]).
Not only did he \”play me\” (probably thinking that I was some liberal punk college professor) –but he also seemed to sense my naivete in such matters — because he knew I was lying in response to each of his questions. And it took me far too long to catch on to the game…
It got to a point where I was pretty much up to my eyeballs in lies and he called me on them. I admitted my guilt.
I wanted to tell him that my lying was motivated by living in The Age of Trump. But then I thought he might be a Trump supporter and that I would bury myself even more (he had already threatened to jack my fine up even higher and have my car towed to the impound yard).
But I summoned the energy to engage this officer in conversation (even after lecturing for 5-and-a-half hours) and we developed a-bit-of-a-rapport: I learned that he himself was a graduate of the institution he was now ticketing; and, that his daughter was attending our institution.
At the end of our proceedings he did an \”impound\” of my car — which the towing service handled right there-and-then (though he had already put the tickets into the system) — the officer suggested I get a new placard for my hip replacements (one year removed) and armed with a new placard — I could probably beat the fines.
Sadly, I\’m a Kaiser member, and I couldn\’t get an appointment with my surgeon within the 21 days before the tickets were due. So I am S.O.L…$1000 at Christmas time?
I would love to be above the law and be able to lie with impunity…