April 8, 2014
The old oak was chopped down early in the new year — and now I am left to stare at the limestone cliff face — wondering if the old oak would have ever “come back.” I would hate to think that the cliff face is now my mirror…
For many of us raised in a traditional nuclear family, family becomes our organizing principle…but my boyz don’t really need me any more (except if they exceed their budgets). So I guess I’m now the ATM Dad – which is not a fun way to have one’s life organized! I do, however, have my adopted family — courtesy of Giti (and they are ‘da bomb,’ particularly my…gack…granddaughter) — but it’s still not the same as coming from a family of five: with parents still married; or, the blood link to my sons…
And after some considerable meditation, I have come to the realization that I have lost my organizing principle in life (not for the first time). Did it go with the execution of the old oak? Did it begin to fade last year when I finished my child support?? Or, have I simply strayed too far from my music??? I listened to some vintage Seventh Star today (the 1985 group I was in) and realized I had forgotten many of my accomplishments!
But I did manage to lose myself in my music for awhile, hoping that something would emerge…I managed to compose a-couple-of-new-songs; got some old songs on the internet; managed to package a few old recordings properly – but none-of-this has inspired a passion to be productive each day! All I can tell folks theez daze is that I have laid my eggs and am waiting for something to hatch!
You would think that after kicking out 300 essays in the last 7-and-a-half-years that I would have found my mojo in the verbage – but I didn’t even notice that I had reached the 300 milestone until after the fact.
300 essays…I’m hoping that Anthony Trollope is smiling from somewhere…
…yet as I glanced over my readership since January, I noticed that it has really dropped off! Is it because of my grand recantation? Is it because I don’t want to “take anyone down” anymore?? I know the reading public (in general) is titillated by famous personages and institutions being attacked, but I’m afraid to do that now…
Look at Gary Trudeau – I think “they” finally got to him! He’s been on vacation a lot lately: only able to kick out a Sunday strip…”they” got to Aaron McGruder quite awhile ago too. I’ve even noticed that Jon Stewart is now “settling” for the trite and banal. And while Bill Maher still asks those hard questions, he gets written off as a pothead in-the-end. Too many great minds, antagonistic to “the powers that be,” have died of terminal cancers. And speaking of antagonistic – I have to beware of using the number “300” around Giti…as the number “300” tends to set her Persian blood to “Boil” (my worldly acquaintances look to bait her when there is a “300” movie on-the-circuit).
Each semester my college students organize me a bit as they attempt to organize their lives and become taxpayers (supporting us Baby Boomers); but they don’t read the newspaper – they live in a world of texting and tweeting (both good things for us Boomers, I guess). I wouldn’t want to organize myself around incomplete neural connections anyway!
I guess the rainbow chakras, my new kata, may end up as my new organizing principle(s). Red Uriel is supposed to keep me grounded and stable; Orange Gabriel is supposed to give me courage; Yellow Jophiel is supposed to bestow wisdom; Green Raphael is to keep me in good health; Blue Michael is supposed to keep my communicative prowess going; Indigo Raziel is to give me insight; Violet Zadkiel is the springboard to the spirit world; and, White Metatron, the spiritual messenger. I am hoping they rejuvenate the energy banks for another 300.
I wonder if the old oak was 300? I’ll have to check the rings…
Those of you still journeying with me, thank you! The next installment will either feature those Lost Lakers, or, Obama Care…