Ever since I saw Michele Bachmann in the Republican debate – I began wondering how she might be in-the-sack? Did she learn a-thing-or-two before becoming a church lady? Is there a fully functional “bod” under those business outfits? Even Gary Trudeau seems interested in Michele’s physique as noted in the latest Sunday Doonesbury. Gary wonders if Michele can fill out a sweater as well as Sarah does?* Hopefully, if she stays in the race long enough, she’ll treat us to something sexier than she’s worn heretofore.
Or, does Michele B., as so many prim and proper types are wont to, merely perform in perfunctory fashion? Does she give a hand job wearing plastic gloves? Has she ever delivered a full-on orgasmic scream?
Jon Stewart’s “airing” off Bachman swallowing a foot long at the Iowa Straw Poll has only served to further pique my interest.
At-the-same-time – I feel unfaithful to my favorite political slut, Sarah P. Long-time readers will know that HG and I decided that Sarah P. was chosen as McCain’s running mate because she must have resembled a well-known, porn actress. Now I couldn’t really say at-that-time (because I only occasionally see porn snippets that my friends send me [and I’ve never asked HG if he watches them {though he recently reported near marital disaster after losing his wedding ring}]) – but one-of-my buddies did finally send me a Sarah P. porn video featuring a Sarah P. look-a-like. This convinced me that my initial assumption was “spot on.” I mean, what red-blooded, American male wouldn’t stand-up-for-Sarah and shoot his vote into the box?
But why do the-both-of-them have to be so exquisitely stupid?
We already know well the many faux pas of Dear Sarah, and, it seems like Michele is hot-on-her-heels with some Marie Antoinette-styled insults of the poor, among other misconstructions of U.S. History. The pundits are on to her – as they’ve been on to Sarah for quite awhile.
Sarah, however probably won’t be in-the-mix this time. She can make plenty of money and get plenty of attention – even on the side lines. But she remains as sexy as any-of-those Brazilian Grandmas my buddies send me pictures of.
I am probably going to “beg out” of this particular essay before I reach the 500-word count – because I really can’t come up with much more thought on these two Republican dimwits (I’m not sure why I even embarked on this creativity stalling exercise?): Probably some residual caveman stuff still lying in my loins.
Most guys I’ve interviewed say that Sarah would be the best roll-in-the-hay by a long-shot. Still, I wonder if Michele wouldn’t surprise you with some inspired wriggling…for…
Some like a woman who’s fair of face
And some like a woman who’s full in the waist
But I like a woman who will wriggle and will twist
For below the belly lies the cuckoo’s nest
*Yes readers, I’ve time-warped again. I am referencing Gary T’s 9/4/11 Doonesbury though this article is dated 8/22/11 – seeing me 3 weeks behind my self-imposed timeline.