Giti keeps asking me when I am going to push my ideas onto a larger audience…and I tell her that I don’t think many people are ready for my ideas, and, that I am content to engage in my personal therapy in The Doctor’s Inn (much as I characterize my ‘sorry’ attempts at surfing as ‘salt water therapy’).
It’s the age-old conundrum for the artist or writer: who should you be trying to please: Yourself, or, a larger audience?? Tennyson struggled with this dilemma – as did Robert Frost. I suspect Van Gogh and Rembrandt did as well. When folks like your personal writings, you have no worries. When folks don’t much care for your “private” stuff (like mine for instance), then the only way you have to console yourself is: to fervently believe that you are way-ahead-of-the-curve (ye olde ‘to be great is to be misunderstood’).
For instance…one of my college students recently asked me about my candid opinion on autism – so I gave it to her: I have come to think that autistic-labelled children are born from parents who would really rather not deal with them. I have shared this sentiment with a few people over-the-years, and, it generally scares the heck out of them: that people would bring life into this world that they really wished they hadn’t! So what does my college student do? She promptly blabs my opinion to a parent of an autistic-identified child. Mein Gott! The world is not ready for this kind of stuff – particularly a parent trying to “fix” their kid by utilizing one of the societal support systems that professes that they can help with autism (even the ‘high-functioning’ kind)…
Before I became a therapist, I had a number of encounters with women suffering from multiple sclerosis. I also had a number of female patients indentified with MS during the 10 years I sat in the therapist’s chair. I did know of one married man identified with MS (and I hope to factor him into my ‘opinion’ about the population suffering from MS). Simply put – EACH-and-EVERY woman I have encountered with MS was married to a “wolf” man – an alpha male who liked to “carouse” and have affairs. The wives of such men seemingly CONTROLLED and KEPT their men CLOSER to home as caretakers – limiting these wolf men from engaging in the extra marital events they were apparently programmed to pursue. And, the genuine neurological, and subsequent physical symptoms these women suffered — DID serve to keep their men in check. The most amazing dynamic I have personally witnessed (on numerous occasions) is: that when these wolf men died before their MS-identified wives – the wives became symptom free – the MS they suffered for years from – literally DISAPPEARED. They threw away their wheel chairs and their sick beds – and started traveling the world. Hmmmmmm…crazy ain’t it?! Oh yes – and lest I forget – the only male I have ever met with MS – was married to a highly-sexed, predatory-type of woman: I don’t know what became of them…
Before I depart from the opinions that may disturb many of my readers (and almost all of my students and acquaintances) – let me quickly reflect on the condition (disease?) known as Lupus – you know, the “disease” that leaves women weak-in-the-knees, and, with dimming eyesight? Well, EVERY female patient I saw with Lupus lived in a family context where she was literally NOT SEEN or HEARD – in effect, she was invisible. Go figure…
But people aren’t ready for my stuff – so I think I have to stay private with my thoughts – and the daring folks who explore my philosophical dabblings — can pick-and-choose what they need: Like my beloved Times – which must have read my letters about the Los Angeles County Probation Department – and finally made their (the LACPD) crimes the province of front page news. I suppose I could have sent my letters to The Times – but that would have been too public for me…and now, I finally understand what one of my probation colleagues means when she publicly states: “Scheff, why do you hate probation?” I guess she must have read my private letters…