September 23, 2012
I haven’t had any wind in my sails as-of-late, and, it took ol’ Buddy Dale’s observation that when I invoked Gary Newman (actually Numan) in an article past (See ‘On Being the Tallest’), I actually meant Randy Newman. And since I hate making errors in observation – I had enough motivation to get this essay underway – particularly when I once wanted to name “The Doctor’s Inn”: “The Smartest Man in the World” – which my female readers will immediately see as an oxymoron. I don’t know what arrogance, conceit or pique motivated me to want to name my column thusly, suffice to say, I remain humbled each day by discovering that which I don’t know…
Is it because I recently showed my classes “Dead Poets Society”; “Ordinary People”; and, “Lord of the Flies” — meant to open the eyes of my prospective teachers and therapists to the realities of the classroom that this melancholia has washed over me? And these films always painfully remind me of the realities of our lives…
Is it because I am out of sync in this new chapter of my semi-retired life – where I can barely accomplish my yoga, and, avoid the piano as if my mother has set an-hour-long practice timer for me?
Is it because I’ve injured my right foot now (very similar to my gout-inducing injury last year), and, I am moving at about 50% efficiency with a seemingly endless healing process and every step ripe for re-injury?
Is it because I have gained more clarity on gold investments: when I thought I bought low (but the gold broker charged me an exorbitant surcharge and told me that I got a 10% discount) and thought I sold high (a $400 difference per ounce from the date of purchase) – only to learn that I could only break even? Or, is it because I am finding it very difficult to get “other” monies of mine re-distributed, and, have learned that “loaning” other people your money is truly more like “giving” it to them?!
Is it because I discovered that three S. African families who had told me point blank that they would “sort out” Son Tyler should he sojourn there and then reneged on these pledges when Tyler finally suggested that he would give it a try (which actually lifted my spirits a bit)? Reminding me yet again that people don’t always mean what they say or say what they mean…
Is it because I’ve lost collaboration my HG collaboration for-the-time-being; now that I’ve retired and HG has brought his fourth child into the world? I so wanted to get SOLTERRE: “Where the Earth Kisses the Sun” out there; and, for HG and I to be making money on this endeavor – but I’m realizing that this effort was my child to birth!
And the icing on my doldrum cake is Austen’s recent knee injury: that saw a strained knee ligament. For 9-years-of-soccer, I believed Austen’s knees to be impervious to harm – just like Brother Tyler’s (they inherited Indian legs from their mother) – only to see Austen cross-a-leg harder than his own.
Sorry Tami A. – I’m feelin’ the Blues (and not even playing them) and country music is not going to get me out of them! But it’s not just the music letdown with HG, it’s probably this entire constellation of events since retiring from the day job…so while each day shines bright – I remain becalmed…which might make for the perfect occasion to contact The Rumpus Room!