I told my girlfriend that if I could just find that original article on A.D.D. – that I have been disparaging for years – because it started off a new disease and accompanying cottage industries – that I could finally begin committing my thoughts to paper. I would be validated: people couldn’t accuse me of bullshitting my way through academia and the few social circles I traverse: I would have the proof in my hand that I generally know what I’m talking about and I don’t enjoy blowing smoke up the derriere of anyone who might be within listening distance.
So Giti and I set about going through my voluminous collection of notebooks trying to find this Holy Grail – this article written by a classroom teacher that was published by a national education journal and “glommed” onto by legions of American classroom teachers without a stitch of research accompanying it. I often liken this phenomenon to the 5 stages of grieving “discovered” by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Word on the streets of academia is that Elizabeth herself wasn’t pleased by how her research was treated by the aforementioned cottage industries. (Shades of Dune Messiah!)
Giti and I spent an entire day going through every shred of paper that I had amassed over 30 years of academia, save the three boxes of notes in the garage…and we couldn’t the article. I began to think that I had hallucinated the whole thing and that minions of teachers I had prepared for the classroom had been misinformed about my A.D.D./A.D.H.D. story. One day I managed to go through 2-of-the-3 boxes of notes and articles in the garage, and, NO A.D.D. article! But I KNEW that I once held this article IN MY HANDS. I KNEW that I had annotated the article. AND I THOUGHT that I had put it in a safe place! Did I loan it to someone and forgot?
I also knew that I could probably find the sucker it I did enough research – but preliminary research attempts saw the first mentions of A.D.H.D. circa 1993 – right around the time of the publishing of the DSM IV (which didn’t surprise me because this factlet was integral to the story I told my students). But I didn’t want to do any more research! I’m plain “friggin” tired of research. So I simply hoped that when I got to the “last box” – and found that seminal A.D.D. article – I would finally be able to say something about something.
All-the-while, I have watched the Bushies trash the Constitution and propel the United States into a second, or perhaps, third world economy. I have had to endure two coups and watched Al Gore get fat. But when I finally woke up and realized that the Bushies will never, ever let Hilary and Obama into the White House – let’s face it, life is just too good for the Bushies – I knew I had to get my lazy arse into action and hope that I can help stave off the next 9/11! I don’t know if it will be Disneyland, the L.A. Harbor or Dodger Stadium (nah, not many folks would get very excited over dead Dodgers and Dodger fans) – but Mickey Mouse? Donald Duck?? Goofy??? Yeah. That would piss Americans off enough for the Bushies to declare martial law, invade Iran, and, for Dubya to hold onto his throne.
So f*** “the last box”! I may never find out if I was right about that; and I’m sure hoping that I’m wrong about the Bushies – and that they’ll just pass the baton on to Hilary and Obama. But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t get this off my A.D.D. burdened chest.
Thanks so much to Giti and Arash for helping the doctor in! Till next week…