Almost cut my hair
It happened the other day
I kept it kinda long
Coulda said it was in my way
So, after one-of-the-Big-Wig meetings in wonderful, downtown Downey, my boss (the Big Boss) pulls up to the urinal next to me and says: “You know, I used to have long hair too…in fact, my ponytail used to go half way down my back.” I got the message: If you want the promotion you’ve been petitioning for the past 2 years – you’re going to have to get a haircut! And then I flashed back on all the former long hairs who got gigs in White Hall (the luverly Clark Building): as I walk by them in White Hall – their hair is coiffed short.
I almost cut my hair then-and-there (well, not in the urinal) – but thought: Nah – I’ll give this new assistant principal a try (figuratively, not literally). She, unfortunately, has turned out to be another disappointment in a long list of administrative disappointments growing out of our White Hall. This A.P. insists on toeing-the-party-line; much to this veteran teacher’s chagrin. I finally realized that I’ll have to be her Boss to get things done in more intelligent fashion – so I cut the hair to create the new image.
Naturally, getting rid of One’s freak flag is more complicated than what I have just narrated: there was actually more to the Piano Man cutting his hair than the foregoing. Since about 1971 (when it looked like I might be a swimming star) – I started getting up at 5:00am – and I’ve been getting up at 4:00am or 4:30am or 5:00am or 5:30am for the last 40 years; whether I was swimming or coaching or teaching 50 miles away from where I worked. I’m finally getting tired of getting up at 5:30am or earlier and the other thing about long hair is: having to get IT ready for-the-day. IT probably adds an-extra- 10-to-15-minutes to One’s morning – and, when One is trying to get-out-the-door by 7:00am – long hair can really slow One down.
For anyone doing the Math – You might ask, “If he gets up at 5:30am – why should it take him an-hour-and-a-half to-get-out-the-door?” For starters, I need to read my morning paper from cover-to-cover before I leave home – which includes a leisurely breakfast and quality time on the Throne.
Yet another problem with long hair involves hair shedding. We all have to comb our hair…and when you’re combing the long stuff out – it is not nearly as easy to get rid of as short hair is.
Once-upon-a-time, I had the Sampson Syndrome – where I truly felt more virile with the mane and generally less competent and able without it. I was pleasantly surprised with this cutting – I still felt the same! Actually, I even felt better – as my smaller head allows me to function surprisingly better in each of the arenas I have found myself in!
The responses have been mixed, but those in favor of the shearing suggest that I look at least 10 years younger – whilst Friend Brian has exacted a promise that if I don’t receive a promotion within the year – that I’ll have to start growing the locks again. HG recognized the manifestations of my transformation! Of course, if I win the Lotto – I’ll start growing the hair back immediately!!
P.S.
Look for HG and me on You Tube and our recording name of SOLTERRE: “Topanga Sunrise.”