July 1, 2012
I just bought a new VW Routan from the local VW dealer, Livingston Volkswagen – this after wanting a used Eurovan (but being afraid of dealing with 2 used cars again [my son’s and mine]) – particularly as I am currently experiencing semi retirement and cognizant that the money won’t be coming in in quite the same fashion as it has been.
Before getting into the details of the most horrific new car deal I have ever experienced (going all the way back to age 19) I have to share the names and works of-a-couple-of contemporary essayists who I’m betting could skewer the likes of Livingston VW much better than I will be able to.
The first essayist is a fellow named Tom Bissell who wrote: “Magic Hours: Essays on Creators and Creation.” What immediately resonated with me in The Times review on this collection was the reference to “magic hours.” In my early innings (2007–08), after I had a few drinks in me (pre gout, naturally) – I could really sink into a neat, unconscious place and make some allusions and comparisons that had some-kick-to-them: I was able to climb into those magic hours (which I will try again this evening with this draft [but didn’t manage to — as this semi retirement thang is just too cool to disrupt] – what with wining myself on the patio settee in front of the chiminea).
The other title, which really hooked me, was Mark Dery’s “I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts: Drive-By Essays on American Dread, American Dreams.” I give this one a big “Wow!” because all of my Livingston VW thoughts right now are very, very bad, and, any drive by I would do would entail some heavy-duty fire power. Thank goodness I believe in karma – and though I know that karma cannot literally be translated into “what goes around, comes around” – I have made a karmic appeal for Livingston VW after they gave me the shaft.
But let my readers tell me if I protest too much…
Over-the-years I have owned 2 VW vans, which, of course, have been my surf rides – and all of my surf rides have had roof racks. This Routan (my 3rd VW van) purchased from Livingston VW, did not have roof racks – and I pointed this out to my young, Persian salesperson – in addition to pointing out the racks on my trade-in, Jeep Compass. My saleskid immediately informed me that the owner of Livingston VW was himself a surfer. From this point on, I figured having roof racks thrown into a $32,000 deal, $13,000 of which was put down in cash – was a fait accompli.
When Giti came in to help me with the sale (as she often does in our money matters) she told this young Persian that I needed roof racks, or, we wouldn’t have a deal (in Farsi, naturally). We even told the finance dude that roof racks should be given to me – particularly when we spent a-couple-of-extra-grand purchasing an extended warranty.
But nope, no roof racks were included (and I have since been told that I needed to get my roof racks into the deal in writing). I guess I was spoiled in my last new car purchase with Tuttle Click Jeep: they threw a pair of roof racks into the deal as I drove my car off-the-lot.
2 days after the Routan purchase – I had to take the vehicle in because the rear gate lock didn’t work. I was in a rental for 5 days, but even my sweaty backache was not enough for Livingston to give this customer a pair of roof racks when I finally retrieved the car.
My Persian saleskid called not long after this and wanted to know if I was happy: I said “No – I won’t be happy until I got a pair of roof racks”! He said that he would see what he could do and that he would call me back the next day. Needless-to-say, 5 days went by without a call.
Then I discovered that the passenger doors were not closing properly (not flush with the body) and were throwing off the interior lights. At the same time, I had a low tire message and noticed that the car was pulling to the right. Meanwhile, I was becoming disconcerted with the Routan’s reverse traction (slippage) as I backed the vehicle up my driveway.
On my second visit to Livingston (about 16 days after the purchase), Livingston VW improved the doors and reported that there was nothing wrong with the alignment — while giving me a bizarre reason for the inconsistent traction – and, you can guess, no roof racks – even after I spoke with the general manager (who offered me roof racks at a 20 % discount, and, the surfing owner, who, like the rest of Livingston customer care/service, gave me the ‘we want to make you happy’ grease job). These two fucks treated me like a first-time, teenaged car buyer! I should have told them that I knew Dale Carnegie.
And now I’ve taken the vehicle in for the 3rd time in-my-month-of-ownership because the Routan is still pulling to the right and still slipping as I attempt to park it in the driveway. I am pretty sure that I purchased my first Lemon – and that Livingston VW won’t be able to-get-it -right, particularly since these babies are now being assembled in the U.S., and, Chrysler has a huge stake in them: gone is the German precision and gone is Livingston’s chance of having a beach salesman and a surf-ride ambassador for the new breed of VW vans.
Karma! Do your thang!!